Tears, Chocolate and Promises...

So it’s 25th January and this blog update is well overdue. 

When I gave God permission to lead me this year in a way which was somewhat uncomfortable, I never expected to see the consequences so early on in my journey. Almost immediately after committing to becoming comfortable being uncomfortable I was faced with the reality of my decision.

My plans for after I graduate this summer are suddenly very up in the air, with God having closed a number of doors I had hoped would remain open. As someone who likes to have detailed plans and be in complete control, not knowing what I am going to be doing in a matter of months is not something I find very easy. Over the last few weeks I have also re-started at University and with it comes the stress of a number of seemingly impossible deadlines and the doom of finishing my dissertation in time.

In truth, the last few weeks have been pretty tough and there have certainly been lots of tears shed and chocolate eaten! However I am still trying to approach my circumstances in light of my desire to become comfortable being uncomfortable.  

The first thing I have been reminded of is that when we are facing difficult circumstances we must emerse ourselves in scripture and focus on God’s promises to us.  

I am determined to hold on to the identity I have in Christ. 

“In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace” (Ephesians 1:5)

By his grace, I am a daughter of the king and with that comes both responsibility and inheritance. In times of discomfort I am called to cling to the security offered by a loving father who has my life safely in his hands. When I look at my life until now, God has never let me down. He has always been there for me when things have been tough and brought me out the other side closer to him. He continues to shower me with countless blessings and so I have confidence when I say that I know I will be alright, despite being uncomfortable, because his love for me will never fail. 

I am increasingly grateful for my friends and family, brothers and sisters in Christ, who are ‘doing life’ with me. They are there to celebrate with me and share in my joy but also continue to support and encourage me when I am struggling and finding things difficult. To those of you who have listened to me, prayed for me, cried with me, had tea with me and even looked up jobs with me, especially over the last few weeks - THANKYOU! You are all blessings from my heavenly father and I will be forever thankful for you! 

New Year, New Resolution, One Word

Loose weight, get fit, read my Bible more…these are typical examples of my new years resolutions. Like millions of people each year, every January I reflect on the past year and identify 2 or 3 (okay so maybe more like 10) habits that I want to kick out of or introduce to my life. Also like millions of people, by the end of January if not before, I realise that going to the gym 3 times a week is not happening; I am continuing to eat way too much chocolate; and I am still rubbish at reading my Bible regularly. This year I have decided to try a new approach to resolutions - focusing on only one word. 

The idea is simple. Instead of focusing on regrets and past mistakes, the ‘My One Word’ project suggests that you channel your plans for life change into one word which creates a vision for your future. Throughout the year the word acts as a lens through which you see the world, face daily challenges and attempt to understand scripture. So I thought I would give it a go, and since I am fairly useless at keeping my resolutions I decided to try my hand at blogging for some public accountability.

After writing a number of lists and prayerfully considering them, I have chosen my word for the year *Drum roll please* 

UNCOMFORTABLE. 

Not exactly the love, peace or happiness that I would have perhaps preferred. But while being uncomfortable is not often desired, over the last few days I have begun to see it as a call to step out of the boat and walk on water - out of my comfort zone with my eyes fixed on Jesus. It is also a reminder of the millions of people worldwide who are living much more uncomfortably than me. 

As I embark on this journey, I am taking some time to assess who I am now and where I want to be a year from now. 

Who am I now?

Not too bad. I tend to use the world as my benchmark for success, and on that account I am doing okay. I’m studying at a top university and not failing; I have friends and family who I enjoy spending time with; and God wise - I go to CU most weeks, church every week, and even serve on the Children’s Church team. It’s easy to feel like I am sorted, happy and doing my best to live for God through the trials and adventures of student life. However when I use Jesus as my standard, as I believe God instructs us to, I realise I am actually not that great. Many of my actions are fuelled by a desire to please others instead of God; I have countless habits that I would generally not own up to; and I am particularly great at trusting God’s plans for my life so long as they match up with mine!  

Where do I want to be?

Closer to God. Living the life HE planned for me. Trying to see the world through his eyes. 

So as we delve into 2014, a year which for me holds final exams, career decisions, goodbyes and new adventures; I am hoping for the first time to keep a new years resolution for the entire year and am excited to discover what lessons God has in store for me along the way. If you see me around, please do ask me how me how it’s going and keep me accountable as I strive to become

Comfortable being Uncomfortable.

http://myoneword.org